I need you.

Monday, December 29, 2008 ♥♥

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DANZATION 2008
we broke those boundaries
:D:D

thank you thank you & endless thank you
to everyone somehow involve in this production

the external guests
pleasure to knw you all!

backstage crew
audience

the DOPESHIT student committees
i respect every single one of you!
all the stress, time and effort :)
esp my costume team! hehe

my dearest NRA family
i love all of you for being you!

all the choerographers
those patience and guidance

my quick change helper
HANNAH!

and the one and only
ann tan! hehe

19th & 20th DEC
it's really my honur to dance
with you all on this stage!
♥♥♥♥

PS: sorry for my bad temper
during that period of time!
you knw i dont mean it one. :p

Tuesday, October 21, 2008 ♥♥

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night out my cant-do-without(s) once again :)
with them all my stress & worries seems so far away
so what if we play stupid games like
drinkers put your goggles on
&& hmm ji ji hmm ji ji tong ka tong ka LOL
crazy forfeits like doing spore workout & hugging tree
hehehe. i really enjoyed myself like a small kid
i love you girls and you all are my sweet escape

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

meanwhile lets jiayou for danzation!
19th/20th dec
pm me for tickets
if not i dont friend you! LOL

Friday, October 17, 2008 ♥♥

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i can't afford to let my emotions take over me
so shufang please hold on

★shufang 加油☆
★shufang 加油☆
★shufang 加油☆

shufang can do it
costume team can do it
everyone can do it
danzation can do it
☺☺☺☺☺

65 days to danzation
have faith!

hehe on the 20th dec i can let it all out
cry you all a river LOL

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

I wanted you
By Ina

I've been pushing hard to open up the door
Trying to take us back to where we were before
But I'm done. I just can't do this anymore'
Cause we can't be mended, so let's stop pretending now
We've been walking around in circles for some time
And I think we should head for the finish line
So believe me.

I, I am sorry, I, I am sorry, I, I
I wanted you to be there when I fall
I wanted you to see me through it all
I wanted you to be the one I loved
I wanted you, I wanted you
I wanted you to hold me in my sleep
I wanted you to show me what I need
I wanted you to know just how down deep
I wanted you, I wanted you

Wednesday, October 15, 2008 ♥♥

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i feel like screaming till i lose my voice permanently
i feel like crying till i cant open my eyes anymore
i feel like slamming my laptop on the floor
i feel like tearing up all my clothes
i feel like biting myself
i feel like eating 7380754875 litres of ice cream
i feel like pulling my hair
i feel like giving up

&& i feel like sleeping and never wake up again.

tangled emotions.
SSSSSScccccccRRRRREEEEEEEEEmmmmm

i have hit the point
you know the point?
when you start to hate everything
sick of everything around you

staying alive seems such a torture

i need a break

i want go on a bagpack all over the world
i want my dog with me
i want my camera with me
i want my diary with me
i want music with me
i want to lie down on a open field
i want a kite
i want to dream
i want the stars shinny so brightly
i want to start anew.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008 ♥♥

Once a man was walking along a beach.

The sun was shining and it was a beautiful day.

Off in the distance he could see a person going back

and forth between the surf's edge and the beach.

Back and forth this person went.

As the man approached he could see that
there were hundreds of starfish

stranded on the sand as the result of the natural action of the tide.
The man was stuck by the the apparent futility of the task.

There were far too many starfish.
Many of them were sure to perish.

As he approached the person continued the task of picking up
starfish one by one and throwing them into the surf.
As he came up to the person he said,

"You must be crazy. There are thousands of miles of beach

covered with starfish. You can't possibly make a difference."

The person looked at the man.

He then stopped down and pick up one more starfish

and threw it back into the ocean.

He turned back to the man and said,

"It sure made a difference to that one!"

was telling them this story a few days back
&& yew seng said i'll die saving all the starfish.
something that they want to get into my head,
i cant please everyone.
BUT i jus can't bear to see anyone dying on me
hehehe. so let's all save the starfish :D:D:D

one day i'll finish saving every single one of them on the beach!
yes every single one!
i will very soon :}

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 ♥♥

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all e best ken!
i guess you're somewhere high up in the sky now
after this 14hrs flight it'll be a good start for you
2 years is fast & im excited to see the doper ken soon!
:D

so much i hope i could do
to alleviate & share the pain of ppl around me
i feel so small && im sorry i can't do much
anesthetize the pain & be strong
lets all welcome a better tml
afterall life is all abt being HAPPY
spread the love
♥♥♥♥♥
jiayou JJ
you've us with you

too much thoughts flowing thru my mind
girl you gonna knw you have to stop
jus stop

stop thinking
stop feeling
stop crying

Thursday, September 04, 2008 ♥♥

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hehehehehe
simple things like this
makes me happy! :D:D:D:D:D

mass conversation with
ppl typing like they have never ever type in their lifes before
hahahahaha

shufang says : this is a random conversation,
jus spam whatever you want

chin says : whatever you want
whatever you want
whatever you want
whatever you want
whatever you want

LOL
chin, can-i-have-your-number guy
never fails to make me laugh lik crazy! :} :}

i should start this kinda random conversation more often
&&&& i love NRA! xoxo

Monday, August 18, 2008 ♥♥

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happy 20th birthday peggy! :D:D
hope you like the lil surprise
and thanks to you we had a great time too!
hehe colourful balloons made us all happy lil kids
and i'll be looking forward to your 3oth, 40th,50th
birthday celebration with you!

thank you for taking your time
to visit me in dream ♥♥

Saturday, August 09, 2008 ♥♥

to cheer myself up i

met up with best friend.
dined in pizza hut with best friend.
baked lots and lots of cookies.
bought a smiley face purse.
bought a pair of smiley face ear studs.
did manicure.

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☺smiley face madness☺
hehe i'm feeling so happy now!
i hope this can last

Sometimes I feel like there's no gettin through to you
Like you don't appreciate all that I do
You gotta show me that you want me to stay
Don't turn and walk away

Wednesday, August 06, 2008 ♥♥

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it's getting harder & harder to breathe each day..

dear SHUFANG
be happy be happy be happy
don't let those thoughts chip your soul away

cheers and wave pompom for self!
everything'll be alright!

____________

http://www.charleneyl.blogspot.com/

happy belated birthday to her
im glad she's moving on (:

though she's jus a stranger to me
she has a very big impact on me
so much i can gain & learn from her

i pray time can heal her wound

Wednesday, July 30, 2008 ♥♥

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timbre with my loves ♥♥

personally i really love the atmosphere there
the music was good
(and i was thinking you will enjoy as much if you were there with me)

i dont mind going back there all alone
sitting there for hours and hours
cos somehow this place just makes me feel so relaxing
it brings up my mood. ☺

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you stole my soul...

Monday, July 28, 2008 ♥♥

I'm trying.

I'm learning.

I'm growing.

Give me a chance.

Give me time.

I'll make it all right ☺☺☺

Thank you!

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Alicia Keys - No One

I just want you close
Where you can stay forever
You can be sure
That it will only get better
You and me together
Through the days and nights
I dont worry cause
Everythings gonna be alright
People keep talking
They can say what they like
But all I know is everything's gonna be alright

No One No One no one
Can get in the way of what I'm feeling
No one no one no one
Can get in the way of what I feel for you
You you
Can get in the way of what I feel for you

When the rain is pouring down
And my heart is hurting
You will always be around
This I know for certain

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Friday, July 11, 2008 ♥♥

my tears poured out like rain tday
there's so many thoughts flowing through my mind
after reading this blog
http://memyselfmine.blogspot.com/
and my dear pearyee's story

i thought all these will only happen in those movies i watched
i felt so much for them
i hope i can do something to alleviate their pain
share their pain

there's so so so many people out there
experiencing shit 927432749647637597629 times worst than me
and fortunate people like us often take things for granted
why do we seem so unhappy when we have so much more than them?

life's just so fragile
people are always left with regrets,
the unsaid and the undone only when they had lost something
we are often reminded to treasure & to appreciate
but are we really practicing it?

i realised having a chance to quarrel with your bf
should be quite a happy thing?
at least you have a chance to do so
some people out there can't even hear their bfs' voices once more

i shd be even more contented w what i have

lesson of the day
share the love
♥♥

i wana add a lil mission to my life
i wana let at least one person feel love by me each day
be it a stranger, be it my friends, my family and my babydog

just lil things like greeting my mum gd night?
(which i dont rmb when was the last time i did that)
or a thankyou slip to let your friends knw that
you appreciate what they do for you.

at least if one day if anyone will to leave me
i can tell myself he/she will be better off up there to look over me
heaven's a place that they belong
cos they're all lil angels of my life
and not looking back
hoping that i was given one more chance to do more

or if i suddenly leave the world,
i wana have that smile on my face
cos i knw there's nth undone that i cant let go off

so easily said, i wonder if it can be done...
thank you lester
for holding on to the other end of the phone
listening to me crying once again
i'm sry i left you worried,helpless and thinking

Tuesday, July 01, 2008 ♥♥

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pieces of paper
but they mean so much too me
thanks for letting me knw someone out there appreciate my presence.

i hope i have enough time that day
to write to every single one of you...

you guys just nv fail to make me cry so hard
i am contented cos i have everyone of you

♥
♥
♥

you wont think i'm a crybaby
if only you understand what i'm thinking inside.

maybe i'm jus
mentally and physically drained

maybe it's just camp & struggling of today's b class
that keeps me thinking
is this stress? i dont knw.

and i shd be glad that all these happened.
cos it just keeps me going,
wanting to push myself to a higher level

all i know is
so what if i'm working hard.
for a slow learner like me
i am just not hardworking enough.
and i jus have to admit that i did slack off after common tests.
i so need to buck up
cos i know what i want and i'm sure i can do it.
you reap what you sow``

think
__________________

see i'm thinking above the line.
time will show
be ready for a better shufang soon
加油☺

and to all those caring for me out there
i'm sorry if i somehow affected you.
i knw it's annoying.
just give me time, i'm fine ♥

and to lester

[b]Lester[/b] a little insane says:
hmm ok. its good to try be strong. but if u really collapse
[b]Lester[/b] a little insane says:
i am still dere
[b]Lester[/b] a little insane says:
dont over do it

thank you.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008 ♥♥

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i'm feeling insecure.
every thunder this morning made my heart skipped a beat.
i fear to go to bed. i fear nightmares.

thanks to those who had been there for me.
but pls stop it.
i dont deserve it, i wana be a burden no more.

let me face it all alone
i will be fine.

at least i sill have my blanket
i can cry on it..
i can hide under it...

MARIAH CAREY LYRICS
"Bye Bye"

This is for my peoples who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye (no, no, no)
Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my peoples who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky 'cause we will never say bye

As a child there were them times
I didn't get it but you kept me in line
I didn't know why you didn't show up sometimes
It's something more than saying "I miss you"
But when we talked too
All them grown folk things
Separation brings
You never let me know it
You never let it show because
You loved me and obviously
There's so much more left to say
If you were with me today face to face

I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"
"I wish I could find a way try not to cry"
As time goes by
And soon as you reach a better place
Still I'll give the whole world to see your face
And I'm right here next to you
It feels like you gone too soon
The hardest thing to do is say bye bye

Bye bye bye bye bye bye
Bye bye

And you never got the chance to see how good I've done
And you never got to see me back at number one
I wish that you were here to celebrate together
I wish that we could spend the holidays together

I remember when you used to tuck me in at night
With the Teddy Bear you gave to me that I held so tight
I thought you were so strong
That you can make it through whatever
It's so hard to accept the fact you're gone forever

bye bye bye bye bye bye
Bye bye

Tuesday, May 20, 2008 ♥♥

That’s what’s going on, nothing’s fine I’m torn.
Give me strength to look into my own eyes.
Give me strength to hide all my pain.
You and me lost the key to my heart.
And I simply find it harder and harder to breathe each day.

So sometimes you gotta just - stop.

STOP loving
STOP hating
STOP wanting
STOP trying
STOP eating
STOP drinking
STOP sleeping
STOP looking
STOP thinking
STOP feeling
STOP breathing
STOP living.

have to disconnect myself
must disconnect.
I must.

stop telling me how nice of you, how you'll be there for me
cos when i turn to you, you just aint there
so simply fuck off
tday i tore dwn your mask, you're an angel no more

thank you lester. you're the only one there (: 24/7 always

Wednesday, April 30, 2008 ♥♥

it has been a year,
we grew and gone thru so much tgt.

and now it's time to do away w the word freshies

all those conflicts w had at first.
all those competitions, stress and being inferior
i glad to have those who are staying w me till today

i wonder who will be still leaving us in the future
but i hope our relationship gets stronger and stronger
chin, not bonded! but bond-ing (:

something good, class resume ytd

i love all those basics and fundamentals training.

i wana push push push push myself to a higher level.

like what i totally agree with ivan.

we are not working hard enough

thanks ivan for ytd (:

i will jia you and you will too

let's improve tgt!

faith is gonna bring us there!

so ppl if you have any thoughts of gg to the studio

pls ask me along! (:

heard a news which

bring me writing this post as i really need to rant

hello girl, honestly i'm really disapointed and sad.

i dont blame or hate you for that decision

but personally i think it wasnt a wise move

or maybe it's my fault too

for not being a good friend to understand your feelings.

but one thing i can say, you have nv been drifted apart frm us

and it's also how impt you are to me which make me feel so affected

the msn chat which we had ytd literally made me teared.

your words were so harsh and cold blooded.

and you really dont understand the problems.

you are just looking at the good side.

even if it's gonna be for the name of NRA

it's still the members holding the name of it

things are not as simple, you didnt think hard enough.

i'm sorry that i didnt have a chance to explain it fully to you ytd

cos i broke dwn in the mid of chatting w you.

like what we always say, nra is a big family

do come back.

at least i knw i will still accept you, be there for you.

and lester i'm so fortunate to have you with me

i wana stay this way always♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Tuesday, April 22, 2008 ♥♥

whenever i'm feeling down,

i will have the ugre to change the look of my nails.

and today i went for manicure

this costs me $1oo (slaps self)

love the design! (: so sweet.

but seriously i feel very handicap w these nails =p

i was quite actually sly. LOL

was observing how she got the nails done for me

i paid $100 to learn =x

i shd buy those stuffs and DIY it soon.

ytd, there's this 190cm guy

he told me something which i thought was very true

he said, a thought will lead to an action

an action leads to a habit

and habit develops into character.

i want the best out of me!

and faith will keep me going.

give me 6 mths

even if there's issit a change

i know at least i try and all i have to do

is to try even harder!

and i know no matter what

mia and von will support me

oh my god. shufang is a lil more positive now (:

and you, my angel will be looking over me frm taiwan
♥

Monday, April 21, 2008 ♥♥

i miss going back to studio daily

i miss dancing

i miss snatching beanbag and softtoy w you ppl

i miss those very very tight and heart warming hugs

i miss those tears we shed tgt

i miss the fun and laughters we shared

i miss NRA!

each and everyone of you

i wana thank god for you all!

and thank you all for being my oh-so-loving friends!

i guess you all got my msg ya! (:
i wrote all these till 4am+ ok
awwww~ so sweet! LOL

sweetest freshies with our mummy ann!

our very nice leader xiao bao!

she's a darling!

5 years and counting

i call him boyfriend

if in anyways he is gonna bully you, i'll skin him alive =x

i'm nt one of them.

hello my somehow related relative. LOL

we have the highest energy level =p

my oh-so-charming left hander! (:

i long to be his gf. LOL

thanks yen and joyce for my hairdo!

i feel fortunate surrounded by them~ LOL

i feel rich with him arn =p

i am supposed to act as their kid! =D

hello rocker! thanks to me for those eyeliners =p

i hope i didn't hurt your eyes.

let's battle NDS again =p

carrot =p

i'll miss you!

initially this pic only consist 4 people. lol

loves =D

bimbos (:

hello yang zhong wei. =p

the-very-nice-to-hug tortise owner (:

she likes to take advantage of me.LOL

chee cheng loves lan-cing

he looks much better w spects =p

she loves me as well as my card (:

you will nv guess her age correctly

sweet couple!

love.

lastly, i'm no cry baby! but just emotional =p

i really dont know how to express myself

but i do really love you all out there!

even those whose pics are nt up above (:

i wana develop all the photos
and make them the wallpaper of my room =p

edited

i didnt mean to miss out, XIUBEI! haha

i want to pinch your face =p

she's like a mother (:

i wasnt suppose to smile. =p

L.O.V.E

Friday, April 11, 2008 ♥♥

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sometimes i really wonder,
if i'm blind/deaf/mute

will things be more simple ?
is ignorance really a bliss?

can i be selfish enough to live in a world of my own ?
:(

someone please answers these questions for me.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008 ♥♥

i know you will curse me like crazy when you see this. =x

but having your pic here is not for me to laugh at your tiny eyes

but simply becos i write every post with a picture.

well, thanks for all these times

always talking to me on the phone till the sun shines

being there whenever i needed someone

be it when i am walking home alone

or when i see a dead cat on the road.

holding onto the phone w me tearing like there's no tml

and i can call you just to sing for 2386972657658 hours.

thanks for putting up with all my nonsense (:

and i really appreciate you!
♥

you are better than a boyfriend =D

Saturday, March 29, 2008 ♥♥

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listen to my heart♥

i dont say it out doesnt means i dont care
you dont see a difference doesnt means i am nt trying
you dont see me crying doesnt means i'm strong
and my laughters doesnt means i am happy